Last Sunday....a great excursion to the beach. The kids weren't sure if they liked walking in the warm sand with bare feet, but it turns out that's a great way to keep them where you want them!
We had a great time, but I felt a nagging twinge of sadness. I tried to cheer myself up with bumper sticker sayings like, "don't believe everything you think", and reminded myself it was that time and I was just feeling sensitive. A group of young mothers sat gossiping, laughing, commiserating. I watched them from the sidelines, outwardly smiling, but secretly missing my own friends, missing that female comaraderie.
Later, after a few miscommunications with M. (my tender self took everything personally) an accidental headbutt to my lip from my son (amazingly painful!), a wrestling match called teeth brushing and two toddlers frustrated by the book selection, the flood gates opened. M. and I got them in my lap, a book ready to go, but I couldn't say anything. It was that silence you hold when the tears are right there. Boo looked up at me, wondering why I wasn't saying anything so I decided to read, voice cracking and all. M. took over while I sobbed in the chair. It only took a couple moments before I felt better and the kids didn't really seem to notice, although I suppose it's not the end of the world if they see their mommy cry. She's human too. Boy is she ever!
P.S. I'm feeling fine now.