One week ago Friday, we lost our 12 year old yellow lab, Dune. I told the kids that Daddy was taking Dune to heaven. I thought that would be a simple explanation, one that my parents had told me once, but it turned out to be a bit more complicated.
"Where's heaven?"
"In the sky, in the clouds"
"How are they gonna get there?"
"Ummm... well, he won't really be up there, it's his spirit really.."
"What's a spirit?"
"He needs a HELICOPTER!!!" my little boy interjected
"When is Dune coming back?"
"Honey, he's not coming back"
"He can play with Bear's balloon!"
About a month ago, Bear had a helium balloon that we all watched float away, which inspired many discussions. Where was it? Would a bird bring it back? So now Dune gets to play with it. OK, pass the Kleenex!
"Are you a little sad Mommy?
"Yes"
Then my daughter gave me a big hug and said "Do you feel better now?"
I realized later that I never mentioned the "D" word. I skirted around it. Somehow saying "dead" sounded harsh and final, but the kids would only have the meaning that I put on it. I suppose I was avoiding too many questions of explaining what "dead" really means. A full explanation of it seemed too much, but the next day I said that "Dune died". Boo just repeated it..."he died?" And that was it...for now.